Bed | Bark Time = everything and nothing

The other day when I spotted the Silentnight Spring Bedroom Makeover Challenge notice, I began to day dream. Imagine a big space, a big bed in the middle, sheets all white and crisp, net curtains billow gently in the breeze as the sun streams in through the vast window. The furniture is stylish and modern and sparkles with newness, space, air and freedom emanate from every corner of the dream… I say a dream, for that is what it is for this is not to be in our lives, reality is a cruel mistress. Let me explain….

We are the proud owners of the following collection of beasties. Heading up the pack is 65kgs of drooling black mass called Bunk, a Newfoundland fully grown male. Lady of the house, Lilly, is 35kgs of leggy blonde Labrador throw in a ginger and black tomcat both weighing in at 5kgs each and we are tipping the scales at 110kgs or bodies.

There is a small ZOO in my bed

We are also the proud owner of a standard double bed replete with scroll back faux leather and an old mattress that still has some life in it once you find the right position.

On a typical day, when it comes to that time when sleep wins the battle, another battle begins in our house. There will for sure be the two cats and Lilly on the bed, snoring, legs akimbo without a care in the world. If the house is cold, say anytime in the last 6 months there is a good chance that in the middle of the bed will be Bunk. One well placed “OI!” and the two dogs begrudgingly remove themselves to the foot of the bed where they take up their sat and alert positions, watching. The two cats have to be physically placed on the floor with a heartfelt “pshhhht “ to discourage any attempts at returning to their warm spots. We remove the pet blanket to reveal a nice hair free bed and climb in to enjoy the warm patches that the former occupiers left. I would like to mention though that this is not a moment of relaxation, oh no, not even a little bit. A momentary loss of concentration and a re-enactment of the English rugby squad all diving on a loose ball comes to pass as all 110kg of bodies leap back onto the bed.

Ding Ding Seconds Out Round 1

Let battle commence.

Every square cm of space becomes contested land, the constant ebb and flow of gain and loss. A well timed stretch from a dog can push a cat up to half a bed away, but wait a human fills the gap with a leg, foiled. A good tug on the quilt can cause a stretched out dog to roll thus freeing up valuable space.

I so wish for more bed space

In time heat makes Bunk give up and go downstairs to the cool, Lilly decides that she wants to sleep not fight for space and leaves to find a chair somewhere less contested. A gentle slow extension of a leg can result in the satisfying bump of a cat leaving the bed, success is near! Open the window and the last incumbent leaves; the bed is ours at last. Now, we can relax, yes tired, but once again, victory. A blissful night sleep lay ahead only interrupted by Ginger banging on the window to be let in, then out, in, out, wait a minute I want in, no out, no in… always the wrong side of a door or window, and unbelievably lucky he has made 5 years of age.

So what would I do to make my bedroom better? Ideally talk a bed making company into building a 2 tier bed with a raised section for humans and a lower section at the foot of the bed for beasties. (rough plans attached)